


Ghostfuckers

by auroraphilealis (athousandrosepetals)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 11:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandrosepetals/pseuds/auroraphilealis
Summary: Phil isn’t very good at seduction, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try.





	Ghostfuckers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhiskersandQuiff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskersandQuiff/gifts), [imnotinclinedtomaturity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotinclinedtomaturity/gifts), [AshlingRae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshlingRae/gifts).



> Based on this [post](http://skamly.tumblr.com/post/172293138959/onyourleftbooob-unpretty-when-im-super). There is not better way to describe this fic than with a quote from @imnotinclinedtomaturity: “A month without upload and she comes back with some crack.” Enjoy.

 

Phil had never been the most… forward person in the world. In fact, he was pretty shy and reserved. Ply him with some alcohol, and of course he came out of his shell some, but he was still never quite as good at making, say, sexual advances, as most guys. In fact, it took quite a bit of mind altering arousal to get Phil to say anything in the least bit _sexy_ , and then he was pretty certain the only reason he came off that way was because his partner was just as much in the moment as Phil was.

So generally speaking, Phil let his partners - namely, Dan - take control when it came to their sexual encounters - especially when it came to initiating them.

That didn’t mean that Phil wasn’t sometimes _forced_ to initiate if he was really interested, thanks to the fact rarely did two people suddenly feel the urge at the same time. Still, it did mean that more than half of the time, Phil just ended up blurting out his desires rather than trying to seduce in any way. Thankfully Dan was pretty used to that, and thought it was cute. Not so thankfully, Phil _did not_ find it cute, and wished with all his might that he could at least work up the courage to _try_ and be seductive.

It couldn’t really be that hard, could it? Dan had done it to Phil a thousand times - his mouth taunting as he caressed it along the back of Phil’s neck, arms snaking around his waist and playing softly with the button on his jeans. Surely, if Dan could do it, Phil could too?

All it took was a few casual touches, a few hot words, and _bam_ , Phil could convince Dan to go into the other room and fuck him until he could no longer see straight. Dan was good at that, too.

Body already hardwired with liquid heat, cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans, Phil nodded his head to himself and stood with the full intent of seducing Dan.

He found his boyfriend in the kitchen, humming as he put away the dishes. Grinning, Phil stepped forward, reached around Dan’s body, and grabbed hold of his boyfriend’s dick.

Dan stopped humming, and Phil froze, mortified. This had seemed so much sexier in his head. Why, suddenly, did it feel like Phil had done something _wrong_? He should have pressed his mouth to the side of Dan’s neck first or something - anything to distract Dan from the awkward motion of Phil grabbing hold of his shielded dick.

This had been so much sexier the last time Dan had done this to him.

“Uhm, Phil?” Dan asked. “Why are you grabbing my dick?”

Swallowing thickly, Phil opened his mouth to admit just as awkwardly as ever that he was horny and wanted a good fuck, but what came out of his mouth instead was, if anything, even more awkward.

“I’m not.”

Silence.

“Right,” Dan replied. Phil imagined if he could see Dan’s face, his boyfriend would be blinking blankly in front of him. Slowly, Dan turned his head to look at Phil, and asked, “Then who's touching my dick right now?”

And because Phil was _Phil_ , he replied, “A ghost. A ghost is gripping your dick right now.”

Somehow, the entire kitchen seemed to grow so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Dan didn’t even blink. Phil wasn’t sure he did either. Instead, they just kind of stared at each other, Dan’s eyes wide and disbelieving, confused, while Phil’s cheeks turned crimson.

Had he really just said that? _Why_ had he said that? In what universe was that in the least bit seductive? Phil didn’t know. All he knew was that at this point, he was not only fucked, but he wasn’t _getting_ fucked.

Not sure what else to do, and standing two feet deep in his own grave already, Phil gripped Dan’s dick harder, shook it a little, and said, “Ooooohhooooh, I’m a ghoooSTTT Danny!”

Phil wasn’t at all surprised when Dan burst into stomach curling laughter, and pulled away from Phil to bend over and clutch at his stomach. Hand awkwardly removed from Dan’s dick, Phil decided to give the whole thing up as a loss, and turned to walk away.

**

Later that night, when Dan climbed into the bed of a disgruntled Phil and began kissing along his neck with gentle apologies, Phil let his boyfriend seduce him once more. He let out a soft moan and rolled onto his back while Dan crawled on top of him. Dan’s hands were everywhere, his lips curled in the sweetest of smirks.

Phil reached down and rubbed his hand back down along Dan’s clothed dick, and took it firmly in hand.

“Phil,” Dan moaned, kissing Phil sloppily. Phil arched into the touch, making to unbutton Dan’s pants, when Dan pulled away - “I think our room might be haunted.”

Dan’s louds cackles were met with a loud “oomf!” as Phil pushed him to the floor, sufficiently turned _off_ , thank you very much.


End file.
